I didn't sleep well last night, kept thinking about papaw and getting upset. I finally got to sleep but it wasn't a restful sleep.
Sis and grams (that'd be mom's mother) drove up to Kennesaw to see the family today. I am sure mamaw (that's dad's mother) and the family will be happy to see grams, they haven't seen her in over 20 years. The funeral service is Wednesday at 11 a.m. I have been going back and forth about whether I can go for several reasons. One is because I let sadness overwhelm me and I tend to fall into a deep funk that I can't get out of. The second thing is that I am taking two classes this term, and one of them is Algebra in summer A. Anyone who has ever taken a summer A course knows it's the short term--only 6 weeks. My class was 530-845 p.m. twice a week. Missing one class in summer A term is equivalent of missing five regular class periods in the regular term! I'd be too far behind. I hate algebra anyway, I might just say to heck that course and stick with the Art History which I am taking in Summer C. It's an online course and so I don't have to drive to class.
It's strange...I hate funerals and I love them. I hate them because they make me sad, I love them because in my Georgia family, the only time the entire family comes out of the woodwork is at funerals. The last funeral I was at up there was in 2000. It was an amazing experience. With all that sorrow, we actually did have some laughs and fond remembrances of days gone by. There were family members I hadn't seen in over 20 years who last saw me when I was just a kid. We all ate, we laughed, we cried, and we laughed some more. Sometimes we showed no emotion at all. Funerals can be weird like that, ya know? They bring out all sorts of emotions in people.
Now papaw would probably laugh at this but I have nothing to wear to a funeral. My really nice expensive long black dress with long sleeved white shirt which was unoficially dubbed my official funeral attire awhile back after I wore it to a few services and it just is too small for me. It's another wardrobe casualty - courtesy of that wonderful weight one gains after getting married. I dont' understand how my friend Susan stays as thin as she was in high school. Me? I had to always work out all the time to look good. I had to keep at it and then when DH came along I stopped. Anyway that black dress stays packed away because someday I know I will fit into it, I just hope it's not in time for another funeral.
Here we are all worried about classes and trips to Georgia and missing college classes and I think papaw would be laughing at the fuss being made over him. He never liked being made a fuss of rather he liked doing things for other people and making a fuss over them. He'd do that every time I visited the family up there. You know what he'd do for me? Every time I was up there visiting the family and was preparing to head home which was usually on a Sunday morning, he'd check the fluids in my car to make sure it was ready to go for the 4 1/2 hour trip back home. He'd also windex the windshields. And oh yeah, papaw would call me over to him in that quiet raspy voice of his and he'd hand me a perfectly folded $20 bill for gas for the trip home. Now I never asked him for any money, I always had plenty for my trips but papaw wasn't the kind of man you turned down when he wanted to do something nice for you. And so I'd take it and smile, say thanks and give him a great big hug. That's the kind of thing he lived for, just seeing his kids and grandkids happy.
There's something funny too I have to add here because I just happened to think about it. My youngest cousin and I were talking about it yesterday. When she was just a little girl, she'd sit on papaw's lap and play with his pocketwatch, which he wore faithfully every day tucked inside his overalls. That was nearly 25 years ago.
Not too long ago that same cousin's baby girl was sitting in papaw's lap and what did she do?
She reached for papaw's pocket watch.
Oh what a joy that must have been for him!