Someone I know as an acquaintance thanked me today for being so wise. It's not someone I would expect to say that to me, but I was honored. She's having personal issues with a couple of other individuals. I said "hey I am not involved and don't want to be but I am going to tell you something I tell my husband because he gets angry at times and wants to confront people when they act like assholes".
I said "you have two choices, either let loose and be angry and give them hell or let it roll." You see I tend to think there are times we have to really defend ourselves and times when we have to step back and ask if the words we want to say or actions we want to do are merely to satisfy our own need for vengeance or simply the last word. Her words and actions would have only made things worse. She might not have felt worse, but one or both of the other two might have. Is it worth it to be mean just to get the last word in? Why make a bad situation worse?
She listened to me. A few hours later she came up to me and gave me a hug and thanked me. She thanked ME. I was overwhelmed. Finally someone agreed with me just one time that being the more honorable person, taking the high road, was the right thing to do.
I have to ask myself this a lot---when I am about to react to a person or situation--will lashing out and making the other person feel bad make me feel better? No, it does not. DH thinks I need to get tough but I like me the way I am. I have always been this way, and I feel no need to change. Defending myself is one thing, but vengeance and retribution is quite another. I'm sorry, but being mean makes me feel bad and it makes me feel dirty. I don't like feeling that way so I try like hell not to do it.
It just made me feel good that I helped someone take a step to be a better person.