Thursday, August 24, 2006

You know school's open when...

Scene #1

Student: "Do you know where my class is?"

Me: "What class?" (as if I read minds too. No, they don't pay me enough to do that!)

Student: "Some biology class"

Me: "Uh Biology? Do you know the course number?"

Student: "No"

Me: "Well uh didn't you check your class schedule?"

Student: "I didn't think about it"

Me: "Really?"

Student: "Yeah"

Me: "You know, if you don't do anything else this term, it's probably a good idea to know the course numbers of the courses you are taking"

Student: "Can you just tell me where it is?"

Me: "No, I don't know what course you are talking about"

Student: "Well can you look up my registration and tell me?"

Scene #2

Student: "Hey uh can you tell me what classes are being held in this building? I can't remember where my class is?"

Me: "What??"

Student: "Well I'm not sure but I know it's in this building somewhere"

Me: "Do you know WHAT class?

Student: "No"

Me: "Wait, you left for campus not knowing where your class is or what it is?"

Student: "I got up late, I know it's in this building. Does it help if I tell you I'm a Liberal Arts major?"

Me: "Uh no"

Student: "Well can you look up a building schedule for me and tell me where it is?"

Me: "How can I tell you where it is if I don't know what you're taking?"

Student: "Can you look up my schedule?"

Scene #3

Student: "Hi, I need some advisement..."

Me: "Well, are you an undergrad?" (I recognized he wasn't one of our grads so he had to be an undergrad in our dept)

Student: "Yes"

Me: "You need to see (insert person's name) down the hall, she can help you"

Student: "But she's not in"

Me: "well then you need to visit her office again later to see her"

Student: "can't you help me? I am not sure which course to take for my specialization"

Me: "I can't help you because my specialty is working with graduate students"

Student: "Well can you at least pull up my degree audit and look at it?"

Me: "No, I don't do degree audits, I don't work with undergradautes. My best advice is that you really need to see (insert person's name). She is the expert on all things undergraduate"

Student: Well it's just one little thing, maybe you know it. Do you know when she will be in?"

Me: "I wouldn't have a clue"

Student: "Well if you see her later can you ask her to call me?"

Me: "No, I probably will not see her and I would advise that you either email or call her and leave a message and make an appointment with her"

Student: "Well I have a fraternity dinner tonight and I have to go home and change"

Me: "Well I guess you will just have to visit her office tomorrow and sit outside and wait"

Mind you, these are adult college students who mommy and daddy sent out on their own with a big fat hug, a room full of crap from Target, a brand new SUV, a great high school education, and yet they lack in one important area.

Common sense.

Yes, this too shall pass. Thank God for Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks!


  1. Anonymous8/25/2006

    Just wait till next year. I'm going to come up with the stupid question you've ever heard and have Logan come in and ask you. LOL--ST

  2. Why does "Who's On First" come to mind???

  3. Now that scares thye hell out of me. these are our futher leaders. But one good thing he will always be able to find his head because he keeps it up his ass.

  4. Oh, you're making me miss school... but I'm sure I'll get stupid questions like this from other recruits in the first few weeks of Basic...