Thursday, September 28, 2006

Getting better all the time!

Ok let's see it's been two months since I've been on anti-depressants and where do I stand? I've got more energy, lost 13 pounds and 7 1/2 inches overall. At first I was walking every morning for nearly an hour but that was before school started. For thirty days I walked every day, now I am walking every one or two days. I am back to trying to walk every day again. I notice a big difference if I don't, my legs will get sore and I won't sleep good.

I have plenty of time to achieve my goal. Most of all, I just want to be healthy. I don't want to wind up with type II diabetes and heart disease, both of which my dad has. He worked hard all his life, he didn't deserve that, but I'm afraid that even if he'd been more than careful he still would have gotten them because I think it's hereditary in his family. It is in my DH's too but he doesn't seem to care.

I care. I want to live a long life and be healthy. Having health problems sucks!

I've been in touch with three gals from high school,--Susan, Katrina, and Julie, who all live in this area. They are really great people and we are looking forward to getting together and catching up on each other's lives and just doing some relaxing girl talk. I'm looking forward to that. They are all married with kids, I am one of the few in our small graduating class that doesn't have kids. That's ok, I was a late bloomer, married at 31, thirteen years at my job and finally back in school and actually thinking a PhD from a top ten school. Hey everyone has their moment, this is mine. I've been enjoying catching up with the girls and others too. One day I got this incredible desire to find my old classmates, many of who still live here and I began doing my research and compiled a contact list. Everyone's amazed at the info I have but see this is my "thing" I can find anyone or anything anywhere!! Research is a gift for me, I enjoy it.

The funny thing about this change in me is I no longer am worried what others think. Oh don't get me wrong I have standards of what kind of person I want to be but I used to be intimidated in my much younger years and other people's beauty and success sort of made me feel inferior. Not that I wasn't pretty or wasn't smart enough to succeed it's just that I always was pushed to the back. I used to think "what will my classmates think of me now?" and you know what? It's what's in our heart that matters. It's how we treat people that matters. It's what kind of person we are that shines. We age, we get wrinkles, gray hair and a bit tired from work, family and all. My old classmates don't care what we all look like they care about just what kind of people we are, at least I think so. I don't care whose been divorced or gained weight or who has done this or that good or bad, I just care that they are decent people and kind to me and to others.

Amazing how we change. More and more I find myself saying "I sound like my parents" and I am proud of that. I am the age now that my parents were when I was in high school. It's so amazing, isn't it? We really do morph into our parents, that's something I am proud of. I know sometimes I wish I could turn back the clock and keep them 37 but I can't.

But my life is good. This has been one of the most interesting years of my life. I have been through a lot of good and a lot of crap and I survived. And I am working on "me" and I've been wanting to do that for years. I want to be the best person I can be!



  1. Anonymous9/28/2006

    I love the person you are. But poor Peepers. I hope she doesn't hear you say anything about not having children;)--ST

  2. I can't encourage you enough to keep this up! We women need each other - not to downplay the importance of the men in our life, because I LOVE and ADORE the men in our lives - but we need that nurturing from the divine feminine, and the world isn't going to give it to us if we don't go out there looking for it! My girlfriends have really carried me through the last few years.


  4. Is this my buddy Tex???