A friend who reads my blog regularly asked me today "What? No blog on your birthday?" to which I replied "hey the day is young" and so here I am shortly after my usual bedtime making sure I make "the big post". I have to get this done before 9pm otherwise I will never be able to get my happy ass out of bed at 3:30 a.m. to go walking!
Ok so here it is, the "big post"......
Yes, at 6:18 a.m. October 3rd, 37 years ago my mother endured 96 hours of excruciating labor (LOL, ok it wasn't REALLY 96 hours but I am guessing you knew that!) to put forth into the world a somewhat normal, healthy, average little girl named Jessica Lyn who would go forth in the world and wreak havoc among the masses and leave her family wondering "what's next?" Of course they didn't know it at the time but I would also be a real pain in the ass on my way to that "what's next"
Of course Jessica Lyn might be my name but that wasn't what they called me, at least not unless I was in trouble or something. From the earliest moment I can remember and I have a great memory that goes back to when I was at least 3 years old, I was called "gaga". Now I never could figure out why but never asked I mean "gaga" was a cute name, I was cute, hey who am I to question it right? But I think as it turns out my little sis Kimmiekins, who is a year younger couldnt' say Jessica so she said "gaga" and so being the good sport I was at that age, i said "what the hell?" and so "gaga" it was. I am sure if I have this wrong, mommie dearest will correct me! :)
Now of course nearing forty, they still call me gaga, sometimes they shorten it because well--gaga can be a lot to say ya know? So they call me goo or gogs or something like that. Do I complain? No. Why would I? When you are my age and your parents still call you by your silly baby nicknames you know you're in good with them. :)
I recall a time when we kids were little when my silly sister came up with the nickname "Jessica Wessica, big fat Pessica" the funny thing is that I wasn't even FAT! That's ok, my dad called her "worm" because she couldn't stay still. In fact, I think he STILL calls her that!!! I recall a phone conversation with dad that went like this: "Hey gogs, is the worm coming up this weekend?"
I only hope that our dear government wiretapping folks don't take that to be code for something!
If you ask me who I am more like, I'd have to say my mom. Pops knows I love him to pieces and I have a lot of his traits but I am more like mom. I am patient, passive, a dreamer, a placater, a good writer, somewhat of a philosopher, and one who craves balance and harmony, which is actually a trait of the typical Libra, and let me just tell you that a libra growing up in a home which at times craved harmony and balance was at times, HELL. Parents argue, it's normal, but a Libra just wants to go in there and say "ok can we have a group hug now?" but of course I never did that. No way. Of course Libras have their moments. I got so pissed off at my sister once that I tried pulling her hair out. This was of course years before she shot me in the leg with a bee bee gun LOL. I just always need to throw that one in there for laughs!
Getting back to being like my parents, my mother has this talent for creativeness, much like her aunt who is a wonderful artist and craftswoman and still going strong at the age of 83. Mom can write, now she hasn't in years and lost her feel for it but it's there and someday she'll put it to good use again. She has a mind that can create a story from nothing. Me? I can't do that but I am a good writer when it comes to opinion type stuff, analyzing, critical thinking type stuff.
Did I mention I am a good speller?
Oh and before I forget, I do have my dad's nose so that counts for something!!
When I was a kid mom and I didn't get along, call it that syndrome where a mom is under so much pressure, and sees so much of herself in one of her kids, she thinks they will do the same things she did. But you know parenting is so hard, parents can try so hard and just not always get it right. That's OK, because if parenting was easy everyone would do it. It's not easy, it's hard, damn hard and so people who can raise three decent kids who are good people, well these parents should be pretty happy. It's not how much money your kids make or if they have the best education or if they have the best of everything, it's about them being happy and making the right choices and having a good life. And they will have a good life if they make the right choices. See, good parents always want their kids to do just a bit better than them. I know my folks don't want us kids to go through the hardships they endured in forty years of marriage, but we endure hardships of our own and they make us better people, kinda like our parents hardships made them better people.
I am the age now my parents were in 1983. Back then, I was 14, my sister was 13 and my brother was 16. And as God as my witness in 1983 I was wringing my hands and saying "shit!!" under my breath when my mother asked me--NO--TOLD ME to do something I didn't want to do and then from the other end of the house she would say "I heard that" to which I would reply by rolling my eyes (I was a great eye roller!) to which she would get the last word (still from the other side of the house) "quit rolling your eyes at me!"
How do they know these things?
Anyway it's weird to be the age your parents were when you said "God I never want to be like them" it isn't because you don't love them it's because parents think they KNOW everything.
I have had a good life up to this point, it's been full of good, bad, sad and everything in between. Mostly it's been good, and funny, there's a lot of laughter in my family because there's a lot of insanity. I was talking to my best friend Deb today at lunch who recalled a spaghetti dinner at mom and dad's several years back with the "knife" incident...and any member of my family reading this who was there that day recalls that very funny episode. Well, Deb said she had a blast, that dinner is always in her memory, and what's really sick is that she totally "gets us" which means she's just as insane as we are.
I love my insane family, they brought me into the world, kept me alive, and by the grace of God (and perhaps the fact that Heaven really isn't ready for a loudmouth opinionated nutcase like me), I am still here and I hope I will be for a long time.
So I'm 37, it's not a big deal. In three years I get to be 29 ever year for the rest of my life. Hey it's true--my mother and her sister have been doing it for years!!!!!