Ok ok so my underwear elastic broke in the parking lot, mom lost hers, Deb lost hers. So I was nearly busted for the scandalous "secret" stamp episode that occured in our barracks when i was in the military (Oh wait can I talk about that now LOL?) So I have done some stupid things, who hasn't.
But today I was innocent, just minding my own business, sitting in my office preparing for the end of my day performing tasks like returning emails, making phone calls and cleaning up my daily mess when out of the blue BAM! I tumbled backwards, lay on the floor with my feet up in the air and shouted "I don't fucking believe this". My chair threw my ass out of it and onto the floor. Thank God that "A" wasn't in his office, thank God nobody was in my office with me hearing me go apeshit with the "f" word and thank God I was wearing underwear (at least that's what "JAD" told me later--she was referring to Britney's recent crotch shots on the internet but I digress....)
Those addicted to being on the phone will be impressed at the fact that throughout this "horrible tragic event", the phone receiver in my hand never dropped. In fact, while I was on the floor I was completing my phone call. Oh hell yeah I'm good.
It wasn't my fault the chair broke. It was made in China (nuff said) and purchased at a local office supply chain (nuff said). The stem of the chair which was welded metal broke clean off the bottom of the chair which it was connected to. It was a clean break and looked to ME like a shitty welding job. Well after hearing the ruckus and my few choice words, "JB" came over from his office next door to see if I was ok. Oh nothing more than my pride was hurt, my shoulder had hit the desk but it's just a little sore now with a slight bruise and my back isn't sore like it was so I am fine. But gee, it was funny, I mean after my few choice words, even I was laughing.
Eventually I threw the two pieces of the chair in the hallway for maintenance to take but how things work at my institution, it'll be a year before the chair is removed. Therefore, I am going to take my camera Monday and get a picture of it for you so you can see the awful thing that maimed me for life. Where do I sue?
I can see it now, the headlines would read:
"Amazingly gorgeous and intelligent woman's chair falls backwards, she sues university $10 million for pain and suffering" (ok ok so I took some artistic license there, I'd only sue for $5 million!!)
Let me just tell you this, if I was going to sue that place for pain and suffering it wouldn't be over falling backwards out of some silly chair. Trust me on that one :)