Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Gay, Straight or Taken?

Been there done that. Dated gay guys, straight guys and guys who were taken. Gee, I found that the gay guys were the most decent and most fun to be with most of the time.

Anyway, seeing the ads for this new show is when I figured reality TV hit a new low, which frankly I thought wasn't possible but it is. I mean the Nick and Jessica thing just had me wanting to barf my insides out but this? Worse! Although some sick twisted insane part of me LOVES "The Simple Life", I am not a reality TV junkie in fact other than TSL I don't watch reality TV at all. Ok I did watch a few episodes of "Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders: Making the Team" and while I'll admit I have a new respect for the rigorous training those girls go through I think I had enough after two episodes when a perfectly thin girl was harassed by the trainers because she looked too fat in her photos. Fat? OMG are you kidding me? The girl was thin and gorgeous! But as they say "the uniform is not forgiving" yeah whatever. I'd be saying to that head chick who makes all the decisions "screw you bitch, I'm going home to eat a box of ho ho's" but no instead the girls take the abuse. They were lost they day they decided that their lifelong dream was to be a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader. Really now? Isn't it something how they could shoot for such a high goal? Their mothers must certainly be proud.

Such a focus on being thin and gorgeous. Listen, the average woman isn't a size TWO and she doesn't have time to perfect her makeup and hair and workout three hours a day (Oprah!).

Ok back to my original post, is it really necessary to have a reality show where a girl has to date three men and figure out which one is gay, which one is straight and which one is taken? I mean is there NOTHING else on which to base another reality show? How about a show about a woman in her late thirties who is trying to balance being mildly depressed, working full-time, trying to pay off ebt, worries about getting too old to have kids, endures marriage to a man who has more mood swings than a woman in PMS, worries about her aging parents, her gay sister, her brother who never seems to call or come around unless he wants something, her grandmother who is always right no matter what, two cats who can't get along, going to school part-time, neighbors who crank up the square dancing music every night at 7 pm, and oh yeah---is on weight watchers and desperately trying to lose another 45 pounds without losing her mind.

I'm sorry, did I miss anything? Where's my friggin reality show?

Listen if you want reality, oh I have it. I could fill volumes with the reality I could give you. Of course there's no "shock and awe" in my reality, just the same old bullshit day after day. But it's my bullshit and it's my reality. These reality show producers make you think that their characters are real but they're not. How about this for reality? "Unscripted Jess" that's it. You come into my house with a camera, no cue cards, no makeup, no bra, holy shorts, yeah those producers would spend one day in my crazy ass household, be it here or at a family gathering and they'd be running for cover begging for Nick and Jessica to come back. That's right baby cause MY life is a real reality show. It doesn't get any better than this. My life will make that gay, straight or taken crap look like a campfire girls weenie roast.

Ok so without watching who wants to be on which loser the dumb girl will wind up with?


  1. Wait a minute....getting back to the "aging parents"..we may not be 40 anymore, but we still have plenty of life left. Just wondering what other strange quirks and dysfuntionality that exists within your family you'll be telling the world next is worth getting up for every day!...

  2. Well thanks mommy dearest LOL. You know I was kidding, hell we're ALL AGING. I was making a point!