Thursday, December 28, 2006

If my thoughts seem strange, I take after my mother...

Leave it to mom to go forth with the whole Soylent Green thing (see my Christmas Eve post) and then worse, she actually found internet-based business with the name Soylent Green Biscuit Company, whose motto is:

"Forty million New Yorkers can't be wrong . . .
They can however taste like crap"

Thanks ma for finding that, it's a hoot! This is the year 2006, we only have 17 more years till 2023 when supposedly the world will run out of food and we begin processing our dearly departed into 3 x 3 squares of nourishment. YUM YUM. I wonder if you can freeze them?

Now you might ask "you would have only been 4 years old in 1973, how could you know about such a movie?"

Glad you asked. That's because my parents are baby boomers and from a generation that wasn't scared to let their kids watch a movie. See back then kids weren't overly sheltered and we didn't become axe murderers simply by watching a horror movie. Now of course it doesn't mean the innocent impressionable young minds didn't get an occasional scare while walking through the house alone after having watched the part of Salem's Lot where the little dead boy floats by the window. But it didn't kill me--er--I mean the poor impressionable young girl subject to the torment LOL. But then this young girl was also the same one who for years refused to go near a built in swimming pool because she believed there were sharks in there. Yes I know I was strange (duh you knew it was me right?), but really I'm sure I got that from SOMEONE in our family, just who I don't know! Oh yes, did I forget to mention my parents let us watch Jaws when we were kids? (Hey I still won't swim in the ocean ok?)

Alas, it's the parents let us kids watch Soylent Green and a host of other movies like Carrie, Burnt Offerings, The Omen, The Exorcist, The Haunting of Hell House, and other wildly graphic horror movies. See back then kids didn't go off the deep end become axe murderers and other sorted characters simply because they watched a certain movie.

And hey while we're at it, back in the mid to late 70's my folks would drop us off at the movies for an afternoon UNESCORTED and yes we actually went inside and watched the movie, we didn't loiter, panhandle, ride our skateboards in front of the theatre or snap gum while talking loudly on our cell phones. We went inside and watched the movie ourselves and later my mom would pick us up.

Oh my God where is Child Protective Services? That's what's wrong with me. I CAN blame it on my parents. They left us with babysitters once a month if that so they could go out, they dropped us at the movies by ourselves and every now and then let us go skating or bowling alone so we could have some fun. They even let us ride our bikes alone, and OMG, they encouraged us to go out into the street and play with our friends.

Did I mention that my parents even let us watch---------MTV? Yeah Cyndi Lauper videos can do so much harm!

HELP! Someone call CPS!!!! I WANNA SUE!!!

And so with all the horror movies, occasional MTV, going places by ourselves, and being encouraged to go outside and play with our friends, neither of the three of us became alcoholics, drug addicts, prostitutes, or serial killers.

Now what the heck was I talking about? Oh yeah Soylent Green. Yes, Soylent Green is people--grade A prime people too. I am sure that in processing the dead humans for food, only the large, somewhat healthy, meaty ones are chosen so that's good. So while you're out buying your DNA manipulated produce and your cloned cow flesh, if you come across some little squares of protein new to the meat aisle, you'll know what it is. Don't be afraid, it could be someone you once knew!


  1. You are such a chip off the old block, and you're wonderful!