Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Back to the grind...

I can't believe it's time to go back to work. Wish me luck, I'm spoiled having been off since December 22nd...or was it the 21st? See I don't remember. I'm fresh off a Twilight Zone New Year's marathon, a week of Lifetime Television movies, sleeping in till 7 am, working on special projects to pass the time, playing with the kitty kats and just relaxing.

Now it's back to hell. Ok not really hell but working really bites especially when you work because you have to not because you want to. I'd rather be in school full-time or be in a career that interests me. Come May I will be at UF thirteen years, six years in my current position. It isn't that I don't like what I do, it's just that I have mastered this position, I have "maxed out" as far as promotion or getting ahead here. I know this job so well I could do it in my sleep, I know it so well I can conduct business via email from home if I'm sick and not miss a beat.

I guess I am not patient as I should be. I am thankful for a great job with benefits including excellent health insurance (and no premiums since my DH works here too) and a tuition waiver for six hours of courses each semester all year round. I am thankful for a nice paycheck and for working with really awesome people. But we all get restless at times and yearn to do what we were put on earth to do. I think mine has something to do with helping others. Sure I do that in my job but this is different. I'm supposed to be doing something other than this. Everybody has a destiny. My sister loves working with her hands and would like to be an auto mechanic, I have been telling her to GO FOR IT! I mean hell who cares what anyone thinks? If that's what you LOVE, then do it, whatever it takes. But I want to be in school, learning, getting my education FINISHED while I am still young, and then getting into where in this world I am supposed to be.

Alas reality kicks in and I realize I have to work full-time and go to school part-time and so does DH and we have learned to be patient, well...sort of. It's not easy. We just want to get the education part over with so we can move out of this place and on to what we really want to be doing. It doesn't mean we won't work hard in our jobs and do them as best we can, we will do that, but while we're doing it, we're yearning to be elsewhere where our talents are more appreciated and where we can really be doing what we were meant to be doing and what we're doing now isn't it. It's just a stepping stone for us....unlike many who make working here a career and have no desire to do what makes them happy. I've run across many staff who have been at this institution 20 or 30 years and many are bitter at the system, bitter at coworkers, bitter at others who have moved on, and bitter at themselves (though they hide that one) for not having taken the chance and moved on and done something better. They're mad at those who have the drive to move ahead because they just got sucked into the system and never had the courage to take a chance. Sure most of us like stability and security but sometimes there's a tradeoff for that, you sacrifice your dreams.

DH and I want to be stable and secure but we don't want to look back someday and kick ourselves for not having had the guts to just go for what we want. It's hard to do that these days, in the age we live in, so don't kick yourself if you haven't done it. As long as you are still breathing, there's still time :)

Have a great day everyone!

1 comment:

  1. Hi Jessie


    Lots of love
    Terri in good ol' England