Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Trashy is the new pretty...

Deb who has been sick as a dog with bronchitis these past few days, did not let that illness prevent her from calling me today between bouts of hacking cough to comment on something she had seen on campus involving the never surprising---always fascinating trashy fashion fest that takes place on campus three times a year...during fall, spring and summer. Just when you think you've "seen it all" you see something else that makes you rethink that statement.

Now let me preface--for those who aren't privileged enough to work on a college campus, you couldn't possibly know the depth to which young girls will sink to show off their goodies. Unfortunately somewhere during their youth between playing with college Barbie, listening to Britney tunes, and throwing up in a desperate attempt to be as thin as Lindsey Lohan or Nicole Ritchie, they missed the lesson on "how to have respect for yourself". This lesson is normally given by the mothers in the family because moms are supposed to be role models for their daughters. I suppose though you can't really blame the daughters when you see the mothers dressing like sluts too. What IS this fascination that forty and fifty year old mothers of five have with dressing like they are teenagers?

Now back to the story, ok well Deb calls me today and is just amazed at the chick in the pajamas with her pants worn in such a way they were riding up her ass and you could see her crack. That girl must have thought that looked just so cute. The rest of us would prefer that she dress before going out in public. A vision of ass-crack is not good on an empty stomach...

Alas, I digress. I wish I could say it's the skinny girls who dress like trash but sadly it's the larger size girls too. While there's nothing respectable about a skinny girl showing her skin, it's somehow worse when a big girl does it. They've somehow let someone fool them into thinking that dressing like that emanates "I am my own person". No, it doesn't. What it emanates is "Goodness, I hope these size 10 jeans don't make my size 20 ass look big."

That reminds me of the time I was at Home Depot with DH and I stayed in the car while he went into the store. I was looking in my rearview mirror and spotted a woman and teenage girl getting out of a car, must have been mother and daughter. The daughter had these really tight pants on and then she BENT OVER! When she bent over, OMG half her ass crack was visible. She was moderately proportioned all over except she had this huge ass and she was earing HIP HUGGERS. When she stood up the pants barely covered her ass crack and I saw her hitch them up as much as she could so that she could WALK in them without her ass crack showing. It didn't help that her shirt didn't even come close to touching her waist. It was bad, real bad. I was thankful DH didn't have to be subjected to it, might have blinded him forever.

These trashy gals, both the skinny ones and the big ones wear the low cut shirts, no bra, crop tops, and hip hugger jeans so low I just feel like I should be running behind them trying to pull them up before they fall down. What can I say? I'm just modest. I told Deb today "what's really sad is their mothers dress like this too" and it's true. During preview or football weekends when the parents come into town and you see the mothers and daughters together then it all makes sense, it's like the missing piece of the puzzle has been put into place. Once you see the mother you're like "ok now I know where she gets it from" and what you want to do see is go up to the mother and belt her upside the head and yell "What th f*ck were you thinking?" and then just go about your business.

I tell ya....

Anyway, today's little episode caused my creative genius of a friend to generate yet another book idea. So far I think we're up to like half a dozen now. That's the genius of our friendship, the creativity is just overflowing, I mean hell there is just SO much material oozing everywhere we turn. Today's book idea was about "morons". You see, Deb and I have a lot of experience in the field of "morons" considering the vast number of them we've had to deal with in just the past ten years.

And so it goes...


  1. Anonymous1/24/2007


  2. Would you believe that this fashion statement from hell is going on everyday at the prison I work at? I see women, truly BIG, women, who in all good sense, should try and cover up their "ass"ets, but who instead, wear these tight, bell-bottomed pants, with the strings hanging where the bottom cuffs should be, and dragging them around the floor. I guess they want to attract the inmates???