Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Please excuse my stupidity, it's the addiction...

I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised that another famous person has checked himself into rehab after being busted for screwing up big time.

This time it's San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom who had an affair 18 months ago with the wife of his best friend and former campaign manager. What's the first thing he did when it came out? He came out publicly (only when he had to) and admitted his mistake, apologized to his public, checked himself into rehab and then makes the announcement that he does not feel his condition warrants him stepping down from his position, that he can still handle his duties as mayor.

The issue of him having an affair is something that he has to deal with alone, and of course the people of San Francisco should seriously question his poor judgment. Alcohol has never been a factor in his judgment before so why is it now? If he made poor choices in his personal life due to alcoholism, how do the people of San Francisco know that he hasn't made some seriously poor choices in his position as their leader? Here's a man who is leader of one of the largest most powerful cities in the world and he blames his bad judgment on alcohol. What other decisions has he made while in office that have put the best interests of his constituents in jeopardy?

That's for the people of SF to decide, but I though it was worth mentioning.

What bothers me most about this situation is that by checking himself into rehab after admitting his "mistake", he's playing that game that is played by so many other famous people these days.

Checking into rehab for actual ailments used to be fashionable. There was a time a day didn't go by when you didn't hear a story about some famous person checking into the Betty Ford or some other high profile clinic. I guess the drug thing became passé and so now alcohol is the big thing. I mean EVERYONE will know if you're a druggie right? It leaves needle marks or white powder on your upper lip, but alcohol? Anyone can hide that! And so alcohol became the "in" thing...for awhile anyway. Actually being an alcoholic became passé too so they had to come up with something else. And that's when a new movement took hold, the movement of immediately fessing up to making a mistake (only after you've been outed anyway) and then checking into rehab under the guise of some serious addiction.

Here's how it goes--you're a Hollywood star who gets nailed drinking and driving, you start spouting how all Jews suck, you're fingerprinted, photographed, jailed and then after the story breaks the next day, you make a teary public apology to your fans, family and friends. Then you promise to meet with Jewish leaders in your community, then your publicist announces you're checking into alcohol rehab.

Or...you're a famous leader of a major US city and the press reports that you had an affair with your best friend/campaign manager's wife 18 months ago. So then you hold a press conference and make a teary public apology to your constituents, family and friends, and then your publicist announces you're checking into alcohol rehab.

Or...you're a rising Hollywood star who calls your television drama co-star a faggot and then apologize, announce publicly that you plan to meet with gay rights groups and then your publicist announces you're checking into alcohol rehab.

Or....you could be a US representative (or two, or three) facing a sex scandal and then you make a teary public apology to your constituents, family and friends and announce you're checking yourself into alcohol rehab.

Man it's so perfect and the fringe benefits couldn't be better. Not only do you get to avoid the press while you're in rehab but everyone manages to forget about it and move on to another story while you're away!

It's so easy! Why didn't I think of it? I mean I have made some shitty choices in my life, why didn't I ever just say "screw the responsibility" and just check myself into rehab? Now let's see....what kind of rehab? I can't go to alcohol rehab because I don't drink, unless of course you can count egg nog and rum once or twice every Christmas, and I don't do drugs unless of course there's such thing as an addiction to acid reflux medication. There's always psychological counseling rehab but I'm not psycho although some who know me may disagree.

I feel left out, I think that I deserve rehab. Surely there is SOME addiction out there with my name on it, that I can lay claim to, in which I can blame every single stupid thing I've ever done in my life.



There must be an addiction for me!!!


  1. Anonymous2/06/2007

    You are cracking me up! How about your addiction to burning charmin? Couldn't you pick a cheaper brand of tp?--ST

  2. That's not her fault, she inherited that gene from her mother!