Thursday, March 08, 2007

Family drama never ceases to amaze me...

Hmm.... this is new... a cat in a yarmulke...

Alrighty then...

In my family there's no shortage of drama. Nary a week goes by that someone doesn't do something to piss off someone else. In my younger days I worried about it, now, like my dad and my sister, both of whom are cut from the exact same piece of cloth, I just don't give a damn.

The most recent family drama, well it isn't a full blown drama, it's sort of an almost-drama was started by yours truly when a few days ago I got it into my head to throw grams a surprise 90th birthday party. You see grams turns 90 on May 29th and since that's a workday for most of us, I thought the 26th, a Saturday would be perfect to get together and have a little fun. So I sent an email to my mom and dad and my mom's sister and her husband and my brother and sister and a couple of my cousins. I mentioned how neat it would be to have a barbecue for grams and invite a few of her closest friends.

I thought it was a great idea but apparently some others didn't feel the same way. Not twenty minutes later I get an email from my aunt telling me that she had already checked with her kids (isn't it amazing how she made five phone calls to her five kids that quickly LOL--) and they couldn't be here so she asked them to send grams flowers. Then she said that she and my uncle and grams three closest friends were taking my grandmother to a special surprise lunch on her birthday. She said she had told my parents about it. And then she said if I wanted to do anything please do it the week after so as not to ruin what she had already planned.


I sat there reading the email, which was, by the way, cause it was all in caps..and speaking of WHY do literate people have to write in ALL CAPS? I mean what is the point? There's a key on the computer you can press to unlock the caps, uh hello?

Anyway, I fumed a little over the email because I didn't like the tone. Oh my aunt's a great lady, don't get me wrong but there was just something about the email I didn't like. It was like she was telling me that her thing was more important than mine. All this time the only thing I was trying to do was bring the family together, celebrate grams birthday and move on with as little family crisis as possible (which is NOT altogether easy in this family).

I sent my parents a copy of the email and like clockwork, the instigator calls me soon after. That would be dad...the man who takes shit from nobody, the man who gives the orders and takes none (well except from my mother). The instigator suggested I do the barbecue anyway and then me, being the placater and the one who at this stage in life, still tries not to ruffle feathers, sent another email to my parents, sister, brother and included my aunt again and said that we would have something on May 26th or June 2nd, email me and let me know.

And sure enough while I'm typing the email I'm on the phone with dad and he's egging me on, saying "don't you let people walk all over you" and then after I sent it he says "I can't believe you sent that email!"


Then my mother emails me and tells me she would rather we just take grams out for a nice lunch, just the immediate family and I throw my hands up in the air and shout Oy Vey! cause I know when I am defeated. Dad told me, he WARNED me earlier "this could get complicated" and sure as hell it was getting that way. And I say "ok fine, I'm done with it" and I wasn't being mean about it, I was serious, see I think I've learned when to just back off and not push because it makes things so complicated in regards to family stuff. And it workd. The plan is now that mom and dad are taking grams to lunch a few days before her birthday and grams knows all about it but she doesn't know about her surprise lunch with my aunt.

And she won't know because you see she doesn't read my blog, well only when my mom finds something so hilariously insane she prints it out and shows it to her LOL. But see mom won't want to spoil the birthday surprise!

Now of course all hell could break loose if somehow my aunt finds out her sister is taking their mother to lunch (OH GOD FORBID!!) before her birthday because then it'll suck the fun right out of the surprise thing right? I mean I can hear it now. They go to lunch on the 25th and then they get home and grams calls up my aunt and tells her what a WONDERFUL time she had with mom and dad at her birthday lunch.

And then it will begin.....more family drama, and then things will be normal again because really now, all this getting along has been going on way too long now, it's been what--months since we've had any kind of major family crisis? And personally that's just months too long for me...


  1. Before you get the Charmin and the lighter out, let me bring you up to date. I called your aunt yesterday and told her that Dad and I are taking Grams out for her birthday lunch on the 25th. She didn't get mad. Then she asked me when we were supposed to all get together as you wanted us to. I told her that had been cancelled. She said ok. Also, she had originally planned on taking Grams out on the 29th because it was a teacher's work day and Pat will be off to go with them. It just so happened it is also Grams birthday the same day so that worked out for them. And she had called her kids to see if they could go, that's when she found out none of them could come up in May. So there won't be any family dramatics playing out. Not unless someone tells Grams about the surprise lunch on the 29th, and it won't be me because I value my life.

  2. Ok so now I have a lighter and plenty of Charmin (thanks to Sam's Club) and no reason to burn?

    NO reason to burn? In this family?

    That statement seems so strange coming from me LOL