Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Working with assholes...

Ok have you ever worked with someone who is a complete and total asshole? Oh my God I can imagine the mass numbers of you raising your hands and shouting "ooh ooh ooh ooh ooooohhh Mistah Cotta, Mistah Cotta!" .....ok ok Horshack shut the fuck up. We get it. You've worked with complete and total assholes before. Now where was I?

Oh yeah.

Now remember the feeling you had working with this person, knowing that because said person was in a position much higher than you, and ruled you, you had one of two choices, you either shut the fuck up and hope to GOD you found a better job or you just said "screw it" and told that person off. Of course the latter would make you feel really good temporarily but unemployment sucks and thoughts of that keep you from doing it. So every day you silently prayed "oh please Lord, let a house fall on her", because after all one already fell on her sister so it is possible. And yet every day you came to work and there was that person, sans the black cape and hat, but still quite there...

Now remember the feeling when you decided "fuck this I'm outta here" and you were able to to transfer to another department with good and decent people, a higher salary, and a window view? You know that "happy place" where the people like and respect you and you them? And more than anything, the best part was knowing that each and every day when you walked into your office, you would no longer have to see the asshole and start praying for houses to fall out of the sky.

Beautiful wasn't it? Like the sky opened up and God smiled upon you.

Yeah ok, whatever!

Now just imagine a building just fell on your head, not a skyscraper, but a tall building, one made of stone, quite dense with lots of windows for sound effect. Yeah it hurts but you'll live. That sound you make when it happens is "oh shit!" and the feeling you get from the pain of the hit is awfully similar to the one you get when rumor has it the person you despise most, who made the lives of no less than a dozen people incredibly miserable is back, not working with you or near you, but will be in the area where you might have to run across them occasionally. And naturally you're thinking "OH MY GOD" because really when you see this person, it conjures up all sorts of images, primarly a pointed steel-toed boot, an ass, a tall building, and a window, with of course no safety net below.

So everyone (especially THOSE close to me who know what I am talking about), chant with me now....

"Houses can fall out of the sky, they can, if only we believe...."

3 comments:

  1. Anonymous4/04/2007

    It's back? OMG, I am so sorry. That SUCKS majorly. But have faith, houses and anvils can fall from the sky. Let me tell you about this ice cube trick I know....

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous4/04/2007

    Even though I don't know who you are referring to, that post is hilarious! Patty

    ReplyDelete
  3. OK, nuff said, let me get on the phone and have Cousin Guido and the boys make a little trip down here to take her for the proverbial "ride".

    ReplyDelete