Ok it's no secret that I have the strangest dreams of anyone I know and most people I don't know. I've heard that perhaps my dreams are a sign of mental instability. Well if I'm mentally unstable then it runs in the family and it's not my fault, just ask my folks :) Anyway, I've been pondering posting about dream I had about a week ago. You will just never, ever believe who in the hell was in it. I'm not even sure how to approach it. Mere mention of his name in this post will bring the neo-nazis to my front door shouting I'm their messiah. Good God can you imagine being the messiah of the neo-nazis?
But alas, the dream is too f*cked up not to talk about it.
Are you ready?
I was in a classroom with about 25 other people, our teacher was none other than Adolph Hitler.
I know I know, it's f*cked up but just keep reading ok?
Well we're in the classroom and he says he's going to give us all four receipts with his signature on them and we're to place them next to photos of people we want to save. Now these receipts were small pieces of paper, grayish in color, with text on them....imagine the kind of receipt you might get in a convenience store, remember that gray print on gray paper? That's what I'm talking about here.
Well, there were these aisles off near the wall to the right and the aisles are like those in a video store and instead of movies being in the aisles there are pictures of people, closeup pictures like face shots, they are black and white, in color, some young, some old, some in-between. They are not old photos either, they are modern day photos and the people were smiling in them. We were told to use our receipts wisely. I recall being very careful about where I placed my receipts because I wanted to save the best four people I could and I wanted an "A" in the class. I can't remember exactly which photos I placed my receipts next to but I think there were a couple of young people and a couple of older folks. Then I went back to my desk. I think I got a good grade. Anyway, Hitler took the receipts we placed, crumpled them and threw them in the trash can.
And the entire time I kept thinking "nobody's going to believe this, I'm going to make a fortune."
Because those receipts were dated with the current date but with Adolph Hitler's actual signature, it was a real ink signature that I knew could be proven to be real. And people are going to be fascinated that I had a receipt for something dated with today's date and with Hitler's signature which could only have been done more than sixty years ago. They'd be thinking how in the hell did I get that? And I knew it would be worth money so I went over to the trash can and pulled some of the receipts out.
I can't remember right off hand what happened after that because I don't have my notes with me. But I know that my mother aka "Sma" is going to love analyzing this one. And perhaps Auntie Renee, her best friend from upstate New Yawk, will enjoy analyzing this one too. Goodness knows what the two of them will come up with if they put their heads together.
Ok so let the analyzing of my brain commence...