Friday, July 27, 2007

Is it FRIGGIN possible to divorce your FRIGGIN family?

Uh in a word...NO!

Sorry ma, you asked! :)

So there I was yesterday at work minding my own business, which just doesn't happen very often, when I received an email from my aunt thanking me for the info I'd sent her on our family history. Then she asked if I could find some other info for her and then she gave me some info to help me which made me laugh and so I emailed her back with the phrase "Oy Friggin Vey!" meaning an extreme "oy vey" and next thing you know darling uncle sends back a reply asking me not to use curse words in my emails to them.

What curse words?

Friggin?

Sure, friggin means a lot of things but so do a lot of words. It's all in how you use them.

I emailed him back and told him "friggin" isn't a curse word and then HE proceeded to email me back a copy of a webpage from reference.com citing the different uses of the word f*ck and showing that "friggin" was one of the terms for it.

I hate it when someone thinks they know everything and works so hard to prove everyone else is FRIGGIN wrong. My uncle has done this on more than one occasion. And I just was already perturbed yesterday and wasn't backing down. So I emailed him back and told him that I thought it was interesting that he can't email me, phone me or write or even THANK me for the lovely birthday card I made for him BACK IN APRIL yet he has the time to point out my allegedly incorrect verbage.

My auntie emails me back asking me not to be mad, that they loved the card and had tried to contact us several times but couldn't get us. Hey I know our phone at home is busy a lot because we have dialup but uh---he can't call me at work? Or use email? I mean hell he used email to chastise me for my cursing.

And good grief don't even ask what else happened yesterday. Ok I'll tell you because if you got this far already you're a glutton for punishment.

Yesterday my aunt emailed me needing some genealogy info for my cousin, her oldest son (and for her too or so I thought) and we knew I had to get it from grams but we all know there are certain things from long ago that grams doesn't want to talk about it--and so I asked ma if she could call grams and ask her for me. Then poor ma's on the phone with grams for thirty minutes getting the FRIGGIN third degree about this and that. All the while I'm sitting here at work, trying to rewrite some text for a publication we're putting out and mom's IM'ing me with the sordid details while she's on the phone with grams. I'm quite sure that if my grandmother were the cursing kind she would have inserted the "f" word between every other word. My mother, poor thing, is on the receiving end of all this, IM'ing me at the same time. I pictured for a moment in time mom as Archie Bunker picking up the rope, tying the knot and hanging himself.

Yes it gets like this in our family. Anyway, let's see how this went...

My Aunt asks me for some info. (I should have known this was not going to turn out well)

I say ok (I'm a sucker!)

I call mom and ask mom to help me. (What was I thinking?)

Mom says ok (bad idea!)

Mom calls grams (a very bad idea!)

Grams proceeds on a thirty minute tirade. (what? like this is anything new!)

Grams calls Aunt (oh boy the shit's about to hit the fan now!)

Aunt calls mom (man my mom is gonna get it....)

My phone rings at work (oh hell you KNOW who that was LOL!)

You see, this is why people lock themselves in the bathroom and burn toilet paper. This is why people drink heavily before family get togethers. This is the kind of dysfunction that can warp a person for life!

Oh FRIGGIN Vey!

7 comments:

  1. Ha! THis is made funnier due to the fact that the husband and his mother are still in a spat that began several months ago. Geez Louise. And just yesterday the mother in law sends a newpaper article to the husband in the mail and on the top of the article writes a note continuing the spat.

    I feel your pain.

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  2. Anonymous7/27/2007

    That's freakin' funny!--ST

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  3. Thank God we can friggin laugh at this friggin stuff because if we couldn't, all friggin hell would break loose in this friggin family!!

    D'ya think we could send dear brother-in-law an email with a link to the dictionary defining the words "friggin moron"???

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  4. Oh lookie at Susan, can't use the word FRIGGIN!

    LOL!

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  5. I think that from now on, friggin' Uncle gets a friggin' email birthday card instead of a friggin' beautiful hand-made one!

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  6. I think kelly has a friggin good idea there!!

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  7. Oy my virgin ears! You woman and your potty mouths! TSK! TSK! TSK!

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