Hollywood to Put Pesky Celebrity Publicity Whores on the Pill
Monday, July 30, 2007
LOS ANGELES — Pesky publicity whore celebrities living in tinsel town are going on the pill. Hollywood residents believe it's a humane way to reduce the enormous celebrity population and the messes they make.
Community leaders plan to announce the pilot program Monday at a news conference. Laura Dodson, the president of the Argyle Civic Association said the "celebrity poop problem" has become unmanageable and this could be the answer.
Over the next few months, a birth control product will be placed in the alcoholic beverages served to celebrities in the most popular celebrity bars and nightclubs in tinsel town. Experts who developed the method believe that inserting the product in alcoholic drinks will be the one way to ensure that it is spread widely and efficiently throughout the population of publicity whores in Hollywood.
People for the Ethical Treatment of Celebrities (ETC) and other celebrity rights groups approve of the measure stating that there are already so many celebrity publicity whores in the Hollywood area, there just isn't room for more. Experts in the area of eradicating pesky celebs estimate that about 15,000 celebrities call the Hollywood area home, with about 1/4 of that population fitting the category of pesky publicity whores.