Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Say what?

I have to say that Steve's great post about bad drivers in Memphis was hilarious and reminded me of this Godforsaken college town where very few individuals understand the concept of "rules of the road". It's either uppity soccer moms in SUV's who can't seem to go on green because their head is glued to their cell phone, young punks in lowriders with their music blaring.

What I'd like to know is where the hell in the Florida Driver's Handbook does it state proper seat placement is reclined all the way back where one can barely see over the windshield? What moron invented this?

Believe it or not called the "gangsta lean" I mean shit can you believe there's actually a name for this? No doubt created by the same ingenious and scholarly author of ebonics.

One quite intelligent homey defines it as:
"A common driving position in which the driver holds the wheel with his left hand while reclining all the way back in his seat and leaning to his right toward the passenger seat, usually bobbing his head or bumpin' with the beat. It's a pretty badass way to drive. This move works best in a Chevy Caprice or or any pimp-style car with a 3-person front seat."

You have to admit his sentence usage is quite creative:

"...with a hellafied gangsta lean, gettin' funky on da mike like an ol' bunch of collard greens..." -Snoop DoggSammy was gangsta leanin' so hard yesterday that his head was partially out the passenger window. What a pimp. "

And then we have this brutha from the hood with an obviously well-thought out definition:

"A gangsta lean is not leaning to the inside of your car, that is for pussys who are scared. The proper lean is with the right hand on the wheel, leanin' to the left, so everybody can see yo' mug. It shows that you ain't afraid, that you are on point, and that you know what the fuck you are doin', and you'z aware of your surroundings."

Of course he too passed high school english 101 with flying colors:

"Them niggas that Gangsta Lean to the left got schooled on some proper shit...from the old school gangstas."

Uh-huh.

Oy.

Personally, I sorta prefer this definition:

"Clownish activity practiced while driving by illiterate high school dropouts and other social misfits. Anyone that practices the gangsta lean is proclaiming to society that he anticipates dying at a young age from stray gunfire. Known to invite cleansing of the gene pool by other gangsta leaners that practice alternate leaning styles. Gangsta leaners often define themselves in simple, cartoonish ways that invite negative reaction, such as wearing tacky costume jewelry that they call bling and wearing pants that are too big so that their underwear shows. The latter is a particularly classless act that publicizes their pathetic attempts at trying to find some individuality in a society that penalizes stupidity and willful ignorance. "Ooh, I'm rebelling against society by expressing myself with my boxers..."

And simple use of verbage in a sentence:

"The ex-con practiced his gangsta lean while driving and his pimp walk while on foot. Those pass for exercise programs in the 'hood."




Well-put ma-man!

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous8/02/2007

    You're just having more fun than a human being should be allowed to have.__ST

    ReplyDelete