Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Is it a gender thing? Or is it just me?

DH and I get up at 5 am during the week.

From 5-5:15 I get our lunches ready, from 5:15-5:30 I clean the kitty litter box, feed and water Peeps and Pebs, then I make the bed and straighten up. From 5:30-5:45 I prepare breakfast which normally includes soy milk, raisin bran and orange juice. From 5:45-6:15 I get ready for work. While I'm doing that DH unplugs the coffee pot, makes sure the girls have plenty of water (we keep an extra bowl in the office), and he puts the dishes in the dishwasher. We try to be out the door no later than 6:20 so we can get to work by 6:55.

Three mornings in a row we leave closer to 6:30. This morning I had to iron a shirt because I didn't finish my ironing Sunday night. I squeezed in opening the ironing board and turning on the iron between making the bed and eating breakfast. Then I ironed after showering so I could let my hair dry in the towel.

In the meantime, 6:20 was approaching and I was a few minutes from being ready. DH starts bitching and that's when I chime in "well if you see me running late you could help out" to which he replies "every time I ask you for help, you say you don't need it".

Sometimes I don't need it. But if it's obvious that I'm running behind schedule shouldn't it be friggin obvious that I need help? I guess I just figure if things were reversed and I saw it was happening to him I'd jump in and just do it.

So is it a gender thing or just me?


  1. Peepers and Pebbles12/12/2007

    It's a gender thing. You need to let your loving, wonderful hubby know you need help. If no one bitches, men, as the gentle creatures that they are, must assume everything is going just fine. Men can't read minds ya know.......

  2. Ha! Or, you could live at my house. We, too, get up at 5:00 in each morning. I flip on the coffee pot that was readied the night before, by me. I let the dog out and feed the cat. The husband is up and checking e-mail from overnight and doing the bathroom stuff. I have set out his clothes (yes, you read that right) and he grabs a couple of bottled teas and puts them in his briefcase. He loads up his notebook computer and finishes his coffee. Then he's out the door by 6:30. He does bring in the newspaper. Then I get our son up and he eats breakfast and gets ready for school. We're out the door to get him there at 7:00.

    Think hubby's a bit spoiled?

  3. I know what the problem is. Enought said.

  4. Gender is not the same thing as biological sex, so I assume you've become a victim of the feminists and been tricked into saying gender when you mean sex. Gender is the roll you choose to play, how you choose to present yourself and see yourself, either male or female or neuter. Sex is a biological fact, what you are whether you like it or not. Anyway, it's a sex thing. My wife will yell at me for this all the time, yet when I try to help her she races to do everything before I can step in, then plays the martyr at having done it all. I got sick of fighting her for the work when it was so obvious that she needed someone to help. I figure if she REALLY needed help she wouldn't be preventing me from helping her in the first place. She just likes being a martyr. I don't know if that's a sex thing, but I know it's a 'my wife' thing because she does it all the time, then tries to hold it over my head as leverage. Not that I'm saying you're doing this. It's just that what you wrote reminded me of what my wife does.

  5. It's a guy thing. I don't do the martyr game. It's just that it's not rocket science to me when someone needs help. If you see your other half needs help, don't ask, just do.

  6. Anonymous12/15/2007

    Oh! It's definitely a guy thing. I'll say one thing in your honey's defense. At least he unplugged the coffee pot and loaded the dishwasher. My dear sweet husband makes no pretense of helping! He puts on the clothes I give him and eats the breakfast I bring him and then has the nerve to say, "I'm ready. What's taking you so long?"

    You know I love the man, but that's exactly what he is. A MAN!!!--ST