Monday, June 30, 2008

Last night I had the big dream...the death dream.

During my sleep last night, I had several strange dreams but this one is the most peculiar and I believe it is the first time I ever dreamed that I actually died.

I was walking down the street in jeans and a tee shirt with a long raincoat and a large black duffel back over my left shoulder. I had my keys and ATM card in my right hand. I was in a section of town where I always get lost at first then find my way eventually. I was looking for the address of one of my hispanic students who borrowed my car weeks earlier but had not yet returned it. I knew nothing happened to it, I just needed it back as I was using a borrowed car myself in the meantime. I am lost in this certain part of town and I walk past these men who looked like they might be the seedy types--in gangs or on drugs or soemthing and one asks me for money. I think he wanted change but all I wanted was to get out of there. I said "no I don't have any money" and then quickly walked past him. As I passed a second man, a black man who looked at me rather angrily, I clutched my keys tighter and then all the sudden I had this bad feeling and felt something buzz my head, just touching the top, like it was whizzing by. I fell to the ground with my face down but my eyes were open and I was aware. He stole my duffel bag but did not see my keys and ATM card in my right hand, then he fled. I lay there for what seemed an eternity then I got up and ran for help. I felt my head but there was no blood. I ran through this building where there was a maze of offices and I was afraid I would run into the perp who shot me. Finally I found an open area which led to an office and a front door leading outside. In that front office If found a man and told him what happened. He said something like "we tried...but you were dead" and that's when I realized I was dead.

It made sense, no wonder there was no blood. I recall feeling my head several times and there was no blood and I thought that was odd.

Fast forward to a memorial service, or actually what I think was one. I was outside some building looking at something in concrete and someone was telling me that my mother decided not to go to the service and my dad had also decided not to go because it was too hard for them.

I think I looked up and saw blue sky. I remember thinking "this isn't supposed to happen to me".

Then I woke up.

2 comments:

  1. Jeez Jess, that's a terrible dream, if you take it literally. But dreaming of a physical death doesn't mean this is going to happen. Remember our dreams come from our subconscious. Everything we see, people we meet, the events in our everyday life.. these all leave impressions on us, that many times we don't realize in our conscious state. You could have read something in a book that stuck in your mind, and not even known it. Dreaming of death many times can mean the death of old ideas or ways of thinking. Have you been thinking lately of changing careers or maybe altering how you live your life? Even the people you encounter on the road everyday can leave a subconscious impression on you. What's going on in the world now especially can leave a very negative impression on our subconscious and can manifest itself in your dreams.

    In the 60's when I lived in Miami, what do you think I dreamed of most? Big mushroom clouds rising in the horizon and a fiery red sky, almost every night I had those dreams, and still did when we first moved up here. I grew up during the cold war, the Cuban Missile Crisis, when the threat of ultimate destruction was only 90 miles away. This more than anything left an impression on me, and probably thousands of others my age. We were all so impressionable. And my dreams reflected my fears, just like I think your dreams are a direct reflection of whatever is going on in your life at this time.

    Think about this and let me know what you come up with. BTW, I wouldn't discount the possibility that one of the drugs you are taking could be having an effect on you as well. Any drug that controls the chemicals within our brain can affect our thoughts as well as our dreams. That's why they come with so many warnings.

    In the meantime, I'm here if you want to talk about anything ok? I love you!! Mom xoxoxoxo

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  2. Anonymous7/02/2008

    I used to have a habit of waking up at night and opening the bathroom window to look at the moon. Silly, I know, but I loved doing it. Well, one night I had a very vivid dream that I opened the window and someone shot me in the face with a shotgun. I woke up immediately. Since then I just don't enjoy opening that window at night.--ST

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