Friday, March 20, 2009

You know you've changed...

Some time ago I decided I wanted to be a kinder, gentler person. I wanted to live by the "be kind over being right" philosophy. Doesn't mean I wanted to be a pushover, it just meant that I needed to consider the big picture, other people's feelings and the repercussions of my words and actions so as not to hurt others. When I made the decision to let a lot of things just "roll" and try and be a kinder person I was serious about it. It wasn't as if I was a mean person, it's just that sometimes I just didn't think and said things that hurt others. I didn't want to be like that anymore. I'm living proof that people can change if they really want to.

An examples is this discussion forum I belong to. One of the guys was going on and on about this and that and I got tired of hearing him preach about this and that so I just said something to him that he was annoying the everloving shit out of us. Of course it was just me annoyed and I shouldn't have professed to speak for everyone else. Well someone called me out for that not just publicly but in a rather rude email with some profanity, asking if my dad would have been proud of my actions and how I shouldn't speak for anyone, how I hadn't changed one bit, and how a lot of people have been through worse than I've been through lately and it's no excuse.

Now the old me would have told her to f*ck off but the changed me realized that first off, I shouldn't have come out at the guy and that at least I should apologize to him, and second, that there's no reason why I should start cursing this woman out and lashing out at her like she did me. So I publicly apologized to the guy and I sent a nice reply to the person who sent me the message letting her know that yeah I did screw up and that it wasn't a very nice thing for me to post that to him and the decent thing to do would be to apologize. I felt better after I wrote her back and after I posted the public apology. I hold no ill will against her, hey she wrote what she felt right? No harm in that. Besides what is the point of getting mad at someone you don't even know about something so trivial?

It's weird how as we get older we become better people, at least that's the way I see myself. I think taking the high road is always the best way to handle things. That's the way I want to continue living my life. It makes me feel good. :)

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