I have spent so many years trying to figure out what it is I'm supposed to be doing with my life. By nature, I am not a risk taker and don't like to leave my comfort zone. There are times when this inhibits me from going forth and taking part in some pretty incredible experiences in life. But I can't help it, it's just the way I am.
Lately I've been consumed with much thought related to turning forty soon. I often ask myself "what do I have to show for forty years on this earth?" because I always thought that by now I would have achieved a lot more by this time in my life. I always held this belief that my achievement had to be larger than life. It had to stand out for all the world to see. It didn't have anything to do with money or notoriety either, it was much more than that. I couldn't come to terms with what it really was all about until now.
What it comes down to is this:
I want to know that I am making a difference in the lives of others, that the things I do in my everyday life help and inspire others. I'd like to think that someday when I am dead and gone, there will be people left behind who can say that I changed their lives for the better. And maybe just maybe, these people will in turn do the same for others.
Mom reminded me tonight that the things we do in our everyday lives can have a great impact on others and we never even realize it. For so long I've thought that I had to make a giant impact, when all along, it was happening before my eyes in small, sometimes tiny, increments. I was so blinded by the big picture, I didn't stop to see the details.
I'll share this secret with you. At heart I truly believe in the kindness of the human spirit and that each person, as an individual, has the power to change the world for the better.
That's the kind of person I want to be.