Sunday, February 06, 2011

How to pick a Super Bowl favorite...

I'm not really a fan of professional football. It's not that I have anything against the game, it's just that I don't give a damn. It wasn't always like that. In my youth, I was a huge 49ers fan. It all started in 1985 when I watched a Monday night football game and I was hooked. Frank Gifford and Al Michaels taught me everything I ever needed to know about the game which actually helped me in later years when I'd watch games with guy friends who were no doubt impressed with my knowledge of the game. The older I got the less I cared about professional football and so when people asked me recently "Who do you pick?" to win the Super Bowl, I'd just say "doesn't matter to me" but then some folks became downright angry, as if I was required by law (I'm sure some state has a law about this) to pick a team. I stood my ground and my answer would vary from "doesn't matter" to "whoever gets the most points" to "frankly my dear I don't give a damn." But after being inundated with the big question by so many people I felt maybe I'd missed out on something. Maybe I needed to jump on the bandwagon and choose a team and perhaps it would fill a void missing for years. Maybe it would make me a better, more worldly person.

The problem is if you don't really care about the two teams competing, how do you logically pick a favorite? Knowing nothing about what's going on with either team this season I felt that was a disadvantage but then I began to think maybe not. Maybe not knowing a thing about either team is an advantage. I've got no bias, surely I can pick a favorite. And so I wracked my brain trying to come up with the team I want to win but decided I had to go through a logical well-thought out process explaining my decision. And so this is what I came up with:

Pittsburgh seems like a really dull boring place. You don't really see too many people shouting, "Hey, I'm moving to Pittsburgh!" with any kind of joy do you?  I mean when is the last time you heard of a mass migration to Pittsburgh? I mean, what do they have besides industry and smog? I don't picture Pittsburgh having museums and coffee shops and broadway shows and nightlife. There was this one time I was stuck in the Pittsburgh airport for three hours and I gotta tell you it sucked big time. I just sat there looking out the big glass windows at the most dull and dreary sight I've ever seen. Nothing but gray skies and snow as far as the eye could see. I couldn't wait to get out of there. I've met people from Pittsburgh who are pretty darn nice so I'll say that that's a plus.  Oh yeah Terry Bradshaw played for the Steelers and who does NOT like Terry Bradshaw? He's funny as all hell. Another plus is the team colors, I love the colors, very manly.  like the helmets too. And I also enjoy the legendary Cowboys-Steelers rivalry though I always rooted for the Cowboys. Add points in for the fact my mom's best friend June is a huge Steelers fan and well, I like June, she's cool. But then again I close my eyes and think "Pittsburgh" and I think steel industry and smog and well it just doesn't set my heart a-fluttering. 

Now, on to Green Bay. While I think that fat guys wearing no shirts, with green and yellow painted chests and big cheese hats on their head look absolutely ridiculous, I gotta admit, they've got balls. I mean, no self respecting Steelers fan would dress like that although what would they put on their head? Steel? Nah, wouldn't have the same effect. That said, I don't like Green Bay's uniforms. I think that green and yellow have to be the worst combination of colors for a professional football team. However, it does make a statement like "our colors may suck but we're not afraid because we kick ass" and you have to respect a bunch of guys who aren't into the whole fashion thing. I also like the big "G" on the helmet because it helps remind you of which team is playing. Green Bay is located in Wisconsin and I have family in Wisconsin so that's another plus. A friend of mine and his family are from Wisconsin and are huge Packer backers so score another point there. And then there's the fact that I only know the name of guy who recently played for either team and that would be Brett Favre. Though I know he doesn't play with them now, he did once and who forgets a name like that? Not to mention how many times he retired. When I think of Green Bay I think of green grass, cows and lots of.....well....cheese. I mean Wisconsin is known for its cheese. And cheese is good, right? And the cows in the commercials are so cute!

So in the end, there's only one logical choice here----the Packers but mostly because I like cheese. I think that's reasonable, don't you?

That my friends is how you choose your favorite in the Super Bowl. 


  1. LMAO! That's the most I've ever read in my entire life about sports!!

  2. LOL I aim to please!!