Friday, November 23, 2012

What kids are learning: Making bad choices is someone else's fault.

Just when I thought I'd heard it all, another story pops up in the news which has me shaking my head both in shame and disgust.

In 2008, Debra Davis and Alexa Latteo were killed in a car accident after a day of drinking in the parking lot at a Country music festival held at Gillette Stadium in Foxboro, Massachusetts. Debra Davis' mother Maryann blames New England Patriots owner Bob Kraft, owner of the stadium and is suing him for $2.5 million. However, Bob Kraft didn't drive the car that crashed. He didn't provide them with the alcohol. In fact, he wasn't even present that day. So why is he responsible?


Maryann Davis needs someone to blame for her daughter's death. Even though Debra Davis and her friend brought the alcohol to the venue and drank all day long, Maryann Davis says security at Gillette Stadium didn't do enough to prevent this kind of behavior at the event.

Huh? You ask? Exactly. I was thinking the same thing. Where is Debra Davis's culpability in this crime? Apparently she has none because she's a victim. If she's a victim here it is of her own stupidity. Yes, it's harsh but it's the truth. If she hadn't been drinking and driving she'd likely be alive today. If I was on the jury it would be that simple.

Nina Houlihan, a friend of the two dead girls, was also drinking that day and in the car when it crashed into a tree. She admits she is "partly" to blame but that the venue shares responsibility because no one checked her for tickets to get into the parking lot. She is suing Kraft for half a million dollars. Again, huh? You read it right.  Houlihan is injured because she drank and got in the car with her drunk friends and she's only partly to blame? Wow. Did someone hold her down and make her drink? No. She did so of her own free will. And yet oddly enough, someone else is to blame.

This story pisses me off.  It should piss you off too. We live in a society where people make bad choices and do stupid things and others are blamed for their actions. The only person responsible for the deaths of these girls is the girl who was driving drunk and the girls who let her get in the car drunk. If anything, maybe Davis's family should be suing Houlihan's since Houlihan was the only one to make it out alive. I mean hell, if Houlihan hadn't been drunk SHE could have driven the car! 

Davis blames security but with that many people at such a large event, how can security be in every location at every moment? It's not possible. What would have happened if the girls would have been checked at the parking lot as Houlihan mentioned? With no ticket, it's possible they would not have been admitted, thus they would have gone drinking elsewhere. However, they were not checked and as such they drank on the premises, and died afterwards. What I don't understand though is how the venue should be held responsible for the illegal behavior of these three girls.They chose to thwart the rules, they paid the ultimate price, two paid with their lives. It's a tough lesson to learn and it comes too late.

I'm sorry for the families, it's a terrible thing they've had to deal with, but laying the responsibility for two deaths and one injury on another party is wrong. These girls had choices, they made the wrong choices and in life there are consequences for that. The parents need to accept their children are the only ones responsible for their deaths and instead of suing a party who had nothing to do with it, the parents could better spend their time using the lesson learned from their children's bad choices to help ensure other young people don't make the same mistake.

Thursday, November 01, 2012

A dream about a funeral

I had a dream last night that I attended a funeral with my dad, mom, sister, brother and grams. The funeral was for my gramps (mom's dad). In the dream we went to the church to wait for the funeral director and his people to bring my gramps out in his coffin. We were kept waiting a long time and we all started to get impatient. I remember standing outside the church waiting a long time and in the dream I recalled I'd been to another funeral for my other grandfather and we were kept waiting. We could not figure out what in hell was taking them so long to get things going.

One of my grad students was in the dream too. He apparently knew my dad. He pulled up to the church in a truck and dad was pissed off over the delay of the funeral and he had words with my grad student. He either said something or he hit him, I can't remember. Next thing I know, my grad student took off in his truck and ran over someone, that person got caught in his engine, it was awful and very bloody. My grad student, who shall remain nameless, was horrified and I think he tried to run.

As in all of my dreams, when I close my eyes and recall it, it just feels so real. I wish I could figure out what it means, if it means anything at all. 

I should have written this down this morning when it was fresh. It was a very disturbing dream as you can imagine. The fact that my now-deceased father was in the dream is even more perplexing.