Hey Ramsey Brothers!
The Boy Scouts called...
Aaaand here we go...
|Sean and Ned.|
Frankly, I just want to see one kill the other off. Ned is so obstinate and the way he kowtows to his brother's whims is aggravating. Every time they're in each other's faces I just yell NED STAND UP TO THE ASSHOLE WILL YA? But...nothing. Sean is the more charismatic of the two and Ned is obviously intimidated by that. The thing is that everybody has their breaking point so look for Ned reaching his. Don't be surprised if there's no more Sean and that leaves Ned in charge. And Ned in charge may be much worse because he's not as organized and calculating as his older brother. He'll have hubris though, and that much like Ruskov, will be his downfall.
|"Shut it! You yellow bellied shiny wankers!"|
|"Don't get your hopes up, that was just an anesthetic."|
Hashtag already prepared: #YOUMADEBURKCRY!
Niels. Niels, Niels, and more fucking Niels...
|"I thought we smoked that mofo on the Vrenya."|
|"So remember, the gel, it soaks the fur so as long as the bear is wet, it's contagious. |
So really encourage the child to squeeze the bear."
BTW can we just say that Tex using Niels as a human shield was EVERYTHING!?!?!?!
ATTENTION ALL HANDS!
ATTENTION ALL HANDS!
We interrupt this recap with a message from Marissa Neitling's "Cake Batter Cookie Dough"!
|Ohhh Marissa....it isn't fair if you don't share!|
You've seen Julia Child's kitchen right?
Nice isn't it?
Well, forget everything you knew about kitchens! They serve a whole NEW purpose now!
If you're asking "WHERE ARE THE F*CKING SCREENSHOTS OF THE FIGHT SCENES?"
Let it be known that there are none. Why? Because that kitchen fight scene was so action packed, so quick, I couldn't get more than a blur!!!!
Tex masters the art of how to win friends and influence people...
|"Help! I'm bleeding."|
"Apply pressure, dipshit."
ROFLMAO. THEY LOST THEM!!!
This scene had me on the edge of my seat. When the Nathan James locates the sub on sonar, Slattery orders the crew to run silent. Just minutes away from the mouth of the St. John's River, they must wait till they reach it to release the helo so as not to be detected. Sean orders the Achilles to fire on the Nathan James but just as they prepared to do so...
|What'll it be Sean?|
|"This country needs a leader almost as much as it needs the cure. Ramsey was gonna use the President to win the hearts and minds of America. And that's exactly what we're gonna do."|
And can we discuss how much bigger Slattery is compared to Chandler in this pic? XO could eat three of CO for breakfast and not even belch!
So....about the POTUS...
Well, Jeffrey Michener is a legit successor but he's either a puppet or a willing participant in the plan to eradicate the non-immune.
|"You are special young man, you were chosen. Like all of us."|
Looks like a lot of that red stuff has been consumed lately. How in the hell are they going to turn Michener into POTUS material? He's good looking enough to snag a female intern or two but with little confidence, no charisma, shitty public speaking skills (with the exception of occasional appearances on Meet the Press) he's totally unprepared for the job he's been thrown into. I mean really do you think 12th in line for the Presidency ever thinks...
...is gonna be me!"
I'd like to believe Michener is a good guy but let's face it, the virus was a game changer. It was a catastrophe of biblical proportions and there are no more rules, at least there weren't until the Nathan James showed up. There's a new normal now and Michener is still shell-shocked and reeling from it all. He doesn't appear to be a take-charge kind of guy so he's not sure what to do next. One day he was HUD secretary dong whatever HUD secretaries do and the next he's the President of the United States....and the apparent head of a cult of crazy ass lunatics who think they are God's chosen.
Michener is a bit naive and very likely has no idea what the Ramsey brothers are up to. I like Mark Moses so I want to see his character turn out to be a likable one, someone who can rally the people, change things for the better, and be a real President. It's great what the Nathan James is doing...out saving the world but right now America doesn't have a leader and it's going to hell because of it. I'd love to see the crew working under the direction of the President, a new and improved Jeffrey Michener and in order for that to happen, they've got to figure out a way to fix this guy and fast before the Achilles and the Ramsey brothers find them again.
The mission has now been changed: protect and reprogram the POTUS.
Given this is a Michael Bay production there was no shortage of gunfire and explosions which is completely okay with me. The action scenes were awesome. I can't rave enough about that kitchen fight scene. I mean Ravi, Burk and Chandler each taking on a fight, simultaneously was so perfectly orchestrated. The camera work moving from one to the other and back again, the raw intensity of the fights, the nonstop action, it was...flawless.
And then there's those few heart stopping moments when the Nathan James was heading toward the mouth of the St. John's river hoping to get out of the reach of the Achilles, who was all but ready to fire! We all knew they'd make it but the moments leading up to it had me on the edge of my seat. I was yelling at my TV in some misguided attempt to lure the Nathan James into moving faster. I couldn't help it I was like "GO GO GO!!!"
See the monster that's been created?
Yeah and I love every minute of it!